[Review] A Blue So Dark by Holly Schindler

 Title: A Blue So Dark

Author: Holly Schindler

Publisher: Flux (May 1st, 2010)

Fifteen-year-old Aura Ambrose has been hiding a secret. Her mother, a talented artist and art teacher, is slowly being consumed by schizophrenia, and Aura has been her sole caretaker ever since Aura's dad left them. Convinced that "creative" equals crazy, Aura shuns her own artistic talent. But as her mother sinks deeper into the darkness of mental illness, the hunger for a creative outlet draws Aura toward the depths of her imagination. Just as desperation threatens to swallow her whole, Aura discovers that art, love, and family are profoundly linked—and together may offer an escape from her fears.

 
When I first read the summary of A Blue So Dark, I had the feeling that it would take on a darker (pun not intended) tone than the novels I usually read, but I was still taken aback by how the book managed to seriously address the issue of having a mental patient in the family. One thing I appreciated about the story was how Holly Schindler did not downplay the emotional, financial and physical hardships of having a mother suffering from a mental illness.  The interesting aspect of A Blue So Dark was how Aura’s mother was the one who fell ill, but her own daughter is suffering just as much, struggling to keep their little family afloat and preserve every bit of normality she can get. Aura is the one who has to shoulder so much anguish, fear, worry and concern, not just for her parent, but also for her own future. It angered me how the other adults in Aura’s life never stepped in to help, even though they had much more authority and capability than the 15-year-old.

I’m not exactly sure why the very few YA books dealing with mental illness usually connect mental illnesses to artistic creativity, but in this case, it worked. The way art was used to show Aura’s mother’s state of mind made it alot more real and also slightly frightening. I didn’t want Aura to shy away from her artistic talent just because of her mother, but I could fully understand her fears of falling into the same downward spiral.

The book also has a touch of romance which kind of balances the serious atmosphere. Jeremy, a cute skater-boy who takes an interest in Aura and her art, makes everything a bit more light-hearted. His presence reminds us that despite being forced by circumstances to be independent and strong, Aura is, after all, still a teenager with crushes and first loves. Loved Jeremy!


This story was heavy emotionally-wise and the writing was so exceptional it tugged at my heartstrings relentlessly. Maybe it’s just me; I’m easily moved and extremely emotional. But the story was difficult to read at times just because it made me feel so much.